This was basically the state of my life or more like the kids room yesterday…. hence why I couldn’t write at my normal comfortable time. Instead…. I am writing at 7:05am in the morning to which I have to get the older kids to school by 7:45am . But my number 1 first princess just refused to wake up…. she even said that she didn’t want to go to school because she is sleepy….. and yet…. she is bullying the toddler right at this minute…
I must say ….. I did shout at the number 1 first princess yesterday…. over something stupid…. like “Where did you put the scissors just now” “We just used it a minute ago”!!!!
Last year it would have been a different story…. I would have hit them… because my BLACK DOG overcomes me and there it goes… who gets the brunt of it all… the children… and the shouting to my husband. That is the thing about the BLACK DOG…. If it weren’t tamed especially without the medication… all hell will break loose.
When I think back… I do feel ashamed of the things that I have done to my loved ones….. and sometimes over the stupidest and lamest things. Why do we hurt the ones we love…they are the ones who will be there when you need them the most. And yet you hurt them.
NOW, I take myself out of the scene. THANK GOD my maid is back!!! All my scattering around to and fro from the agent’s place and couriering important documents overseas (shhhhhh) had paid off.
Hubby is off overseas again. And he will be flying more and more as he does well in his career. Whilst my career has suddenly turned into housewife mode. From a full salaried 5 figures down to 2 figures at the worst. And so far it is a no go from my Psychiatrist about me looking for a job what more applying and going for interviews.
Which brings me to my harmless addictions… not to the detrimental to self harm…. but RETAIL THERAPY!!! DAMAGE to pocket when a broke person thinks she is still earning her 5 salaried job…..
That I will continue later….
I short one today guys…
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